insomnia

Can't shake this feeling I have
Heart beating,too alert
Wanting you to be closer then you were before
Bodily reactions I question and can't quite explain
Womens intuition got me trippin
Something is making me feel this way
Is it maybe my hidden insecurities?Should I watch what I disclose?
Last time I checked insecure and I didn't mix..no need
Too many questions,too many questions
Yet I can't drift off to sleep
I close my eyes and then find myself wide awake again with that feeling and those mind games
Insomnia

Smell goods

As you have found out in previous blogs..i LOVE smell goods,i'm always looking for that smell that will keep my house fragrant.It takes quite a few smells to keep the fragrance in a 2 story house.There is nothing like coming home and inhaling sweet smells in the air.While at walmart i stumbled across Febreeze's 3 new scents.I've fallen in love with them ALL!I'm just like all those febreeze commercials now,sniffing all over the house.lol.They are definite must haves and are only $2.50 per can

The 1st one i found was Brazilian Carnaval

I was roaming the smell good aisle when i was grocery shopping and stumbled across this scent.There were only 3 left,once i had smelt it I understood why.This one is in the downstairs bathroom,its very fragrant not too heavy of a smell and it seems like a bit of a tropic scent.Works wonders though.

The 2nd I found was Hawaiian Aloha

About 2 days later i was in target and was looking for another brazilian carnaval,so i would have an extra yet there wasn't any.Then i saw this one,another must have.lol.This one is in the upstairs bathroom,we use it for both rooms upstairs as well,and we have a decosphere on the staircase which i recommend as well. This is a bit of a flowery smell but not too overbearing.I always love to be in the room after it is sprayed.

The 3rd one is Moroccan Bazaar

I was back at walmart a few days after purchasing the 1st 2 fragrances and saw this.Once again i just had to have it.lol.This one is for the living room.Ive never had moroccan food before but i've been in areas where they have it.This scent captures that smell without the food. I like to spray it when i smoke hookah,it gives off a middle eastern vibe although Morocco is in Africa. It sets the mood for relaxation and a chill atmosphere.

Last but not least,i had mentioned the decosphere on the staircase.

I had never seen an ad for this product before,but i like to try out new smell goods and see what works best for the home.I hate buying something and having the scent in one corner of the room.The decosphere reaches the whole area its in.Once you hit the center of the staircase before going up the 2nd set of stairs you smell it all the way up until you reach upstairs. This one in particular is cherry blossoms and magnolias. It actually does have a calming affect,i'm going to purchase another one once this runs out.

Technology..good or bad?

One thing i like about school is the intellectual stimultation i recieve from my peers.
In english class today we discussed a lecture given by a professor who had visited the school.
I hadn't been present for that but i decided to still fully engage myself in the conversation.
There are a few older people in my class who's views are a little different then those of their younger counterparts.

We discussed technology and writing,how technology will soon replace the traditional writing that we are so accustomed too. As you would imagine,there were tons of different responses.
I myself feel that the basics of technology should be taught so those who are older and not so tech savvy wont feel left out and will be able to start at the basis and work their way up.I also feel as if more hands on writing and assessments should be done and taught in school.There is nothing like reading a good book,but i dont only limit myself to the library,im well rounded in the media and internet aspect. It is far too common as to not being able to find a person my age to hold a decent thought provoking conversation with. If ones vocab is more extensive than someone in their age range they are called "too smart" or "trying to make others feel dumb".What happened to all the critical thinkers?What is wrong with actually picking up a good book to read?Has technology warped our minds to where a person cant hold a conversation past hello and how are you and their interests???

Can the thinkers stand up?Can the intellectuals speak up?

recap +25

This weekend was pretty much the same as others.Yet since my friend and godson are here it was a bit more fun.Once the baby was down we went through 2 bottles of goose this weekend and then on sunday went and watched a friend get a back piece tat.Its very nice.She took it well for her 1st one.

I've been seeing on various websites 25 random facts about people so i wanted to just list a few..

1.Hello Kitty obsessed since i was 12
2.HUGE jeopardy fan
3.Spanish was my 1st language yet when i moved with my mom i stopped speaking it
4.Book worm
5.Love to laugh
6.Vodka girl <3
7.Love/hate relationship with my sidekick
8.SUPER domestic
9.Dont like spicy food
10.LOVE japanese food
11.Have a major thing for smell goods
12.Speed demon on the road
13.5 tats
14.7 piercings
15.Weave phobia..its weird..not all but quite a bit
16.Tired of my short hair
17.Hoodie fanatic
18.Misspelled words make me cringe
19.Dont wear shoes when i drive
20.Always check my seat with a light at the movies
21.Will listen to any kind of music at least once
22.Severely anemic
23.Wish that the mcchicken was available in wyoming and colorado
24.Don't like to wear clothes at home..just my undergarments
25.Don't like the smell of dogs

new tat!

So i said i wouldn't be getting on much because of my house guests,yet i got my 5th tat yesterday on my foot and just wanted to leave a pic of it.It says "Te quiero por siempre mis hermanos" which means I love you forever my siblings.I have 6 siblings including my deceased older brother.I have an older brother and sister in Panama,an older sister and twin brother in Cali and a little brother in Florida.

Busyy day!

So to recap this weekend from what i can remember..Friday was a goose night,OH YES.lol.Mixed with hookah,crazy crazy crazy.lol.Saturday=Vday.BLAH.Sunday,i had a nice txt convo with Daja and i cleaned the house.I need to keep it nice and clean because my 7mth old god son and my friend will be coming to visit tomorrow!

Today i was sooo busy!I went to school,got a pedicure,bought a lamp,sheets,a blanket,new PINK skillet and grocery shopped,i was planning on getting a tat but this damn place..UGH.So i came home and made Teriyaki chicken,white rice and walnut brownies..=]

I should've taken pictures but i didn't.lol

I probably wont be on too often for the next few days so just feel free to follow or leave comments.LOVE YOU ALL!

hella funny video

i couldn't stop laughing.lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toy6Vk2hppk

4 months

Feb.9,2009

Makes 4 months since my older brother passed.He was a severe asthmatic and died of an asthma attack,at the age of 22.He was also epileptic,it had come back after 15 years.During this particular asthma attack,it took the ambulance 20 MINS to reach my aunts house and upon arrival had trainees working on him,who had kept on asking their supervisor for direction.By that time he wasn't able to breathe and suffered from seizure due to loss of oxygen to his brain,he passed around the time he got to the hospital.I miss him everyday.It seems surreal,the time has flown by so fast.I break down completely and just weep until i feel like the pain can subside,it doesn't.He sung and lived his life to the fullest.ALWAYS,you wouldn't even be able to tell he was sick by just being around him.After playing sports for years,the doctor told him he couldn't play anymore because his system was like that of a 60 yr olds.It crushed him but he just further focused on his singing and was in the studio everyday.The group 831 was making big moves and had met with Rockwilder and even went on BET's new comic view.

James i know you are watching over all of us,i'm doing my best to make you proud.You were not only my brother but my friend.I love and miss you everyday,and constantly wish that god can return one of his angels.Your songs are constant reminders of your talent and will forever keep your spirit alive.As i write this my eyes start to water,as a i can hear your voice and feel your hugs.I miss our jokes,talking about the good times and all the fun we had.You were truly something else.lol.Quita,trice and i smile everytime we look at our tats.



I had designed this tat right after james passed,it is his music name in a music sheet,with a music note as the J with a halo and a wing and a backwards treble clef as the S,on each end of the music sheet are the dates of his life.

Forever in our hearts james..

A snippet of 1 of their songs is on my page,James is the one with the deeper voice

Chris Brown

What is this world coming to???

This is what it says about it on E online

About the time Brown was scheduled to be singing "Forever" onstage at Los Angeles' Staples Center, he was instead detained by police, being questioned for allegedly roughing up Rihanna.Brown, 19, turned himself in at the Wilshire station around 6:30 p.m. and was booked on suspicion of felony domestic battery. Bail was set at $50,000 and he remains in custody.Sources tell E! News that the alleged victim was Rihanna, 20, and that she suffered visible bruises on her face during an altercation that took place hours earlier. Both in turn balked on scheduled Grammy performances.A spokeswoman for Brown's label declined comment. Rihanna's publicist, Amanda Silverman, would only tell E! News that the 20-year-old "Disturbia" singer was involved in an unspecified traffic mishap. "Rihanna is well," the rep said. "Thank you for concern and support."Per department policy, police declined to identify the alleged victim in the incident, which occurred about 12:30 a.m. in the Hancock Park area, apparently as the two were heading home from Clive Davis' annual pre-Grammy bash, where they had been all smiles.In a statement, police say Brown and his companion "became involved in an argument. After stopping his car, Brown and the woman got out and the argument escalated. The woman suffered visible injuries and identified Brown as her attacker."By the time officers arrived on the scene, Brown had split.Rihanna, whose full name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty, decided against singing a medley of "Disturbia" and "Live Your Life" at tonight's awards. Likewise, Brown scrapped his scheduled performance of "Forever.""We're sorry she is unable to join us this evening," said the Recording Academy. A virtually identical statement was issued for Brown's absence.Brown and Rihanna were up for dueling Pop Collaboration With Vocals awards, Brown for his duet with Jordin Sparks on "No Air," Rihanna with Maroon 5 for "If I Never See Your Face Again." Brown was also contending for Male R&B Vocal Performance for "Take You Down." Backstage, Anthony Hamilton, winner of the Traditional R&B Vocal Grammy with Al Green, said his pal was pressed into emergency service "about an hour and a half before the preshow."

bloggers

i know this blog is personally just to vent and get out my feelings during the day/night.Yet it would be nice to know peoples opinions,i'm not saying i want a flock of followers but it would be nice if some people followed and kept tuning in instead of just doing quick comments or just glancing with no commentary..[sigh]..just to know theres an audience and i'm not just writing to myself and daja..lol.LOVE YOU DAJA!

Getaway..

Have you ever felt that need to escape?That dying urge to just run and run until your lungs burn and you feel as if your heart is going to burst?Like you can't cry anymore and like your headache can't become anymore painful?All the questions that cross through your mind as you slowly drift into your happy place.The smile you wish to see as you envision yourself somewhere else..a place only you dream about but have no courage or money to get to. Can i get an amen??Or am i just the only one who thinks of these things?Am i the only one who wishes that there was a place where all the people who feel this way can just suddenly appear in?The closest i get to that place is a nap...sometimes i just wish,wish that i could open my eyes and be there..but until then i'll just stay asleep for 5 more minutes..

This isn't a poem,ive just got alot on my mind

Lions & tigers & bears

"Why do we love love,when love seems to hate us?"

No one ever said being in love was easy

The emotion we feel so deeply

Is the one that cuts us the deepest

The same emotion that is the deciding factor between life && death

Stay && go

As humans we are all suckas for love

At times i'm just not sure,i'm very much in love but there's always the point in time where things get rough and you just feel down.This is most definitely the case for me right about now.Arguements all the time,about the smallest things.

Everyone wants it to seem as if their relationship has no flaws and is untouchable.

NEWS FLASH:Noone is perfect!!!

Marriage isn't for the weak hearted and those that aren't strong willed.

I've made my vows before the lord and my family and i will stick to them 'til death do us part

But right about now we have hit a bump in the road of life and i'm seeing the downside of things

Headaches,fatigue,tears,frustration,anger

I just hope we can get it together and effectively communicate because all of this non agreeing is taking a toll on me.

I'm stressing and feeling out of my element and down in the dumps.

UGH!

A little bit more insight on me

Feb.4,2009 i would've never imagined in a million years i'd be where i am today.

This time last year:

Ron had just left for basic training

I was living in the "O",Flaaawwdaaa
I was the biggest

Clubber
Drinker

Smoker

All that..i was living that life most def!

Fresh 18 with a 21 yr old roomate,life was a party

I was that girl that was always on stage,always dancing and singing

The dj's knew me,i stayed on the club websites in the galleries

I could literally write a book on all the things i've seen,done and been apart of..

But that life is all behind me now,traded it all for a husband and a house =]

But spring break is coming up && the wild side should soon reemerge just for about a week or so ; ]

Superbowl weekend!

So i haven't been posting too much if at all this weekend.I've been a little busy.lol.So friday,i went to eat japanese food w/ron,one of my FAVVVVS!I tried this sushi called a denny roll,its a deep fried cali roll.BOMB!

I also had the sea eel roll,we usually get unagi which is just broiled sea eel w/a special sauce over rice with a thin strip of seaweed holding it together.Don't knock it until you try it folks!

And lastly i had some teriyaki chicken with rice.It wasn't that good.I like the chicken grilled and then with the teriyaki sauce on top but this was broiled or something..eeew.


Right after that,we went to meet up with a few friends to see "Taken",a movie about a man who's daughter gets kidnapped.It's actually a very good movie,it has a corny ending though.That pretty much concluded our friday night,we just laid in bed and watched tv until we fell asleep

Saturday,my baby boy cousin was born!He doesn't have a name yet,but he was 8lbs 1 oz.Congrats Kisha && Mike,he's their 4th child,3rd boy.Their oldest son was killed in a car accident about 5 years ago,during that time his mom,my cousin Kisha,found out she was pregnant with their 3rd child and only girl Yatianna.Ron and i chilled around the house for a little bit,Ron went and washed the car,and afterwards we went to the store and before we came home got an order of the denny roll and sea eel roll.YUMMMM!We came back on base and met up with some friends and went bowling.Bowling isn't really my thing so i just sat out and watched everyone.I left not to long after with two friends and hit up coldstone for some sorbet.I'm lactose so too much dairy will not work out for my life.lol.Ron stayed out and bowled and i just waited until he came home.We spent the rest of the night watching comedy central,Katt Williams Pimpin Pimpin,which is hilarious,Kevin Hartt stand up HILARIOUS and then the roast of flavor flav.That black ass man.lol.

Then today,superbowl!We went to walmart picked up a few things and invited over 2 couples and a friend of ours who happens to be married as well but his wife and newborn are visiting her family.We smoked hookah,ate mozzarella sticks and pizza and went to visit each others houses.All in all it was a good night filled with laughs.I just finished up my english essay for my teacher and back to school i go tomorrow!

I also just found out M.I.A is pregnant!CONGRATS!She is due grammy night,she didn't confirm what she was having though in the interview.She's engaged to musician Benjamin Brewer.